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Hi All,

Thanks for all the support recently with my crazy MRI result. It still weighs on my mind but I am feeling a little more positive, but still the doubts creep in. How did this happen, wasn´t pregnancy and the post-natal period supposed to protect me?

I am now worried about the future, more than i´ve ever been. I do everything I can, and I do still feel good. But I now have doubt.

For this reason i´ve decided not to have a second child, despite wanting one. I look at my little girl, who just loves her mummy more than anything and can´t imagine for a second not being able to run after her, throw her in the air, dance with her. I am scared that if I venture into having another child, my body might not cope again.

What, if despite all odds, I get another 30 new lesions. There must be a saturation point and I don´t know if I want to hit that.

Hormones have always affected me, maybe this is my trigger.

I wanted to know. Has pregnancy affected others in a negative fashion? Has anyone else chosen to not go ahead with children because of their MS?

Thanks
Jacqui
Just give yourself some more time to heal and revisit the decision later and see if you still feel the same.
Dx 1992 OMS 25-2-09
I agree with Kashu. This isn't a decision to make quickly. Give it time.
Hi Jacqui,

although I am male, I had the same difficulty after our first child (now 18, and going to university) was born.
We wanted to (try) a second child, but I had m.s. So what ? I said to my wife: I need 1/2 year
to think it over, and see how I feel. I decided not to take a second child. After all I was glad I made that decision.

But I didn't had the knowledge about m.s (and sickness in general) 18 years ago. If I had, maybe I had made another decision.
So maybe the best is to wait a little time, before you make a decision.
That time (of our first and only child) I fell ok, and now I believe the m.s. will or can stay the same if you change your food and drink intake dramatically.
That time I thought things will be getting worse in time. And it did. But I did not change my food intake etc. Now the last 2 years are stabile !!

It depends on how you will look at the future. I am not interested in MRI's (I think EVERYBODY has lesions). It depends on how I feel.
In the past I thought things will change for the worse; now I think differently.

I wish you the best with whatever you decide; it's a though decision.

Jossi
Hi there,
Just putting in my two bits as I think this is a more important decision than drugs/which drugs, etc.
Having or not having a child is not something that one can alter after a final decision is made.

I have the hindsight of having 2 children that I now cannot imagine living without so of course
I would say that my decision was the right one. But I do think it was the right one, for their sakes as well as mine.
When I do have MS related trouble I feel better knowing they have eachother. They remind eachother
of the situation, they are both asked to help out in different ways and they are a big comfort to their father
and of course to me.
I admit my case has not impacted their childhoods hugely and I was not "down" during pregnancy or nursing.
But the MS is there; I can't ice-skate with them or backpack or play frisbee, all things that at one time I was sure
I would do with my kids. But the things we do and share, the laughter and friendship, is truly medicine.
Strong family is medicine.

Having said all that, I still think it is your very individual decision and this is not meant to convince you to do things the
way I did them. The 2-3 years of intense physical demands made by child-bearing is not trivial and you alone can feel
if your body is ready.
Like all who answered before me I would say, wait. i don't know if time is an issue or not but even waiting a few months
can make a difference in how you feel.

Best wishes,
Sarah
I would recommend follow the advice of the others members on your thread. Just wait and see how everything works out,
After giving birth to my second child the MS started to get worse.
I think the second child put a lot stress in my live.
Please just wait until the MS is calm again.

Best wishes
Viol.
Hi Jacqui,

Can I ask how old your daughter is? The reason I ask is because I have a theory that the first few years after a child is born are very difficult, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. My second child is one and I'm going through some big questions in my mind at the moment, particularly regarding the risk of them developing MS in later life. I'm working through some feelings of guilt and self-doubt, exacerbated (funnily enough) by a current exacerbation. In other words, how you feel right now might be reflective of where you are in your parenting journey. I'm also waaaaay over-analytical about everything.

How many children you have is a decision only you and your partner (if you're one of the lucky ones!) can make. That's true of everyone. For those of us with MS, having MS is a factor in that decision making. For other people, factors might be a family history of cancer / diabetes / vision problems / you name the health challenge; for others, it may be a financial issue; some worry about the environment or social aspects; some live in a country or city or house that isn't best suited for children; others think about the interplay of family dynamics in having more (or only one!) child(ren). We're both blessed and cursed to live in an age and society where we can make those decisions (for what it's worth, I firmly believe that it's more a case of being blessed!).

The advice already given about taking your time to make such a big decision is a wise one.

My second child is a girl and, despite being healthier both before and during the pregnancy than for my previous one, a boy, I have had much worse symptoms this time around post-natally. I hadn't even heard of the Jelinek approach first time around. Will they be permanent or will they resolve like previous attacks? I don't know, and that can be scary. Has that been due to the increased stress of juggling two demanding children? Could it be that a pregnancy with a girl affects us differently (worse) than a pregnancy with a boy? Is it because this time around I have a kid of just the right age to bring multiple viruses (and who knows what other manner of grottery!) into the house? Who knows?

I do know that I am happier for having had a second child despite all the above. There's almost five years between my kids so I had a long time with just one and, as brilliant as he is, it always felt like something was missing. I feel more complete now. That's because of my own personal situation and feelings so yours are probably totally different. I also think I'd be physically healthier *right now* if I hadn't had a second child. But in five years time or ten? Who knows? My crystal ball is a little cloudy recently. :D

You have to make the right decision for you. Talk about it with your partner, think about it, trust your gut. Resist external pressures, whether social/media (eg. the "perfect" number of children!) or from family. It's your life. You'll make the right decision for you. But there's no rush to make it. Unless, of course, you're in your late 40s in which case there probably is a bit of a rush. ;)
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