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Hi,
I'm wondering if anyone out there with progressive MS has chosen to have children and how it's worked out?
I was diagnosed with RRMS 2 years ago, with probable onset 7 years ago. However for the last 3 years I have been slowly but steadily declining, it is now at the point where it is very hard to work. This is despite OMS for 18months, copaxone and trials of many other medications. My MRI is negative but I have an EDSS of 4.5, the main issues being mobility and fatigue. My neurologist is now wondering if in fact I have PPMS but at least i have SPMS. My issue is being 37 I don't have long to have a family if my partner and I decide to, certainly I would love to have a family. However, to state the obvious... I am wondering if it is fair on a child to bring them into this situation. Also it would put a lot more pressure on my partner and family (who don't live close) as I would need a lot of assistance. I worry if I don't have an adaptable child they may end up full of resent and fear the strain put on everyone involved. It would be lovely to hear others stories, strategies, regrets and successes!
Thanks
Hi Kerryn,

Give it another 18 months. You won't be past it then. You will know more about your potential outcomes by that time. Have you read the new book "Recovering from Multiple Sclerosis"? It's wonderful, gives us all hope.

It's so scary, eh? And I don't even have think about the issue of childbearing, being an old bat of 54 with a son aged 20. I find it scary even from this vantage point.

Lots of love, lots of mind-body medicine wishes to you. I would love to hear that you are pregnant and glowing in two years' time.

Keep in touch.
Cheers,

Sue

OMG December 2011 OMS January 2012 OMS Retreat March 2012 Benign MS Sep 2015
Two Very Mild Relapses since diagnosis. Copaxone May 2013 No new lesions on MRI since diagnosis
Pregnancy and baby rearing may be what you see now, the thrill and some fun then another say 17 years in front of you to nurture and grow to being able to stand on their own two feet. If you find today a balancing act of capability what you need to do and energy is there room in that to bring up a child, how much support might you need and how much might you need to pay for and would that mean welcoming strangers into the house.
Children with challenging environments can grow up very caring and compassionate so can be a positive experience for them.
The site is not OMS aligned but you might find information to help you think about this decision. A hard one, plus there is a book multiple sclerosis and having a baby by Judy Graham.
Mumswithms.org
Is there no members with experience of progressive MS and having a baby or coping with a young toddler or pre school child who can offer thoughts?
I just wanted to echo what Sue said, I had my first child at 43 - easy peasy. You have plenty of time, so I really wouldn't rush into a decision. I would also add that having a baby is the most physically and emotionally demanding thing I have ever done - I know other Mums tried to tell me how it would be, but it is impossible to understand until you are actually in there!
I wish you well, whatever you choose,
Cinders
Cinders how strongly was your MS affecting you with your first, did you have any other coping considerations or was it fatigue.
How are you managing now with an active toddler who wants to run everywhere.
:-)
veg I had no symptoms at all when I had my baby - even then it was terribly difficult. We had colic, no sleep, constant crying - both me and the baby - and ultimately I developed post-natal depression. Obviously some babies are easier than mine, but unfortunately we can't choose what we'll get. Also, apart from my husband, we had no support at all. I think the point I was trying to make was that it can be tough going when you are well, so it's important to make sure you have all the right things in place if you are not so well.

My colicky baby is seven now - and we are all doing just fine!!
Thankyou for replying :-)
Hi kerryn
I have had ms since 1993. I have been very lucky and well until the last 2 years. I had my daughter in 2005 when I was 38yrs. I agonised over the decision for years before going ahead, and I am very glad I did. I had a fantastic pregnancy, birth and breast fed for 2 yrs.
It wasn't easy, I don't think having children is easy....and we love our daughter very much. We decided not to have another, sometimes I feel this was the right decision other times I wish we had been braver. I also have a tendency to over think things. I agree with the others...be gentle and give yourself some time...then listen to your heart. All the best Jodie
Hello, I have a 9 month old and a 3.5 year old. I was diagnosed with RRMS 10 years ago.

It is hard and tiring as it is for anyone. And some days I have no idea how I will muster up enough energy. But it is the best thing I have ever done. I wouldn't change if for the world.

I had a guilty wobble with similar thoughts that I shouldn't have inflicted this situation on them, and one of my best friends put my mind at rest so beautifully by saying that the love and experience that they would get from me would far outweigh the tough bits and they would be so lucky to have me as their mummy whether I was in a wheelchair or not. It made me weep with emotion. Because the fact is, they will know this as their life and as long as it is full of love and warmth, they will have a wonderful loving family to be a part of and that is the most important thing for any child.

I think that as long as you have the support you need, the happiness it brings is worth it's weight in gold

Lots of love, health and good luck x
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