Parents, Children and Family

I have RRMS since 2006, with my symptoms in remission after 2+ years on OMS. But I still have hormonal issues, a tendency to fatigue, depression and emotional overwhelm - especially when I don't get enough sleep.
My husband and I have started the journey to parenthood using IVF, and so far the initial fertility tests are not showing up any obstructions to having a healthy baby.
BUT
I am concerned about whether I will be well enough to cope with looking after a baby when any disturbance in my sleep seems to have an immediate and pronounced effect on my physical and mental health.
I would love to hear from any over-40 ladies who have been in this position - did you choose to go ahead and have a baby, or did you decide to "play it safe"? If you did have a baby, how do you cope with the physical demands of motherhood post-40, with MS?
I should probably mention that I have no relatives living nearby, my mother has passed away and my mother-in-law is elderly and sick. My husband works long hours and commutes 4 hours a day.
Thanks in advance for your comments

I read your post and walked away, but then you were very much in my thoughts.

So here goes, I'm 44 have two children aged 8 & 15 years old, with RRMS.
I'm pretty sure I had MS when my 8 year old came into this world, I just did n't know it and it did n't have a label.
Everybody is different and faces different sets of challenges, but almost 3 years from diagnosis, I feel my children are the
reason to keep going, to drive forward and commit to the oms program. To be the best person I can be, a child brings so much joy and
clarity to life, your world changes beyond belief, if the foundations of love and support are there from your partner then you'll find away to overcome all the obstacles thrown at you. Take small steps, listen to your body. MS is n't a life sentence its just a test, with good routine, diet and exercise, anything is possible.

Therefore my advice is don't be scared, you're not crazy, you're living this life today, tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.
Nobody said it would be easy, one life, live it.
Good luck

Hello

I have logged in after longer time as my full schedule now does not allow me to sit on the internet much.
I am 40 and expecting a second child. My first one is 2.5 and is little devil!
I like you have no family nearby as I moved countries many years ago. Same with my partner.

I would also say do not be scared. Do some research about pregnancy and MS. I remember reading somewhere on this website some statistics that women who had children AFTER the onset of MS were likely to have better MS course then those who didn't.
I had lots of anxieties during pregnancy and in the first months after birth mainly due to pressure from my family 'to do things this way or another, which I could not cope with. Also I think I may have had a little PND but was never aware of it.
However! The sleepless night however bad they were, ended one day. Now we sleep full 8 hours on average day. Yes it is demanding to look after such high need child that she is (am I really doing this again in few months??) but it is so rewarding!

How long have you been on OMS? Vit D? Meditation/Mindfulness? Truth is I have not had much will to meditate in the first year but there are times when your baby falls asleep on you or you watch them peacefully lying in their bed (mine was mostly in sling - so there was exercise for me ) when you can reflect and take it all in. Think about the lovely oxytocin that will run through your body while you do that or while you breastfeed or simply just think about your baby.

There is a lot you can do to prepare for the busy times. E.g. prepare and freeze healthy meals, meditate a lot while you can, learn about babies' mind (I recommend a course on futurelearn.com called Babies in Mind), get rid of everything you do not need to make a space in your life (I wish I did that!) etc.

Sorry to go on but I am kind of going through the same insecurity right now - how am I going to cope (with two),

No, it is not a walk in a rose garden and it is bloody hard at times but in few years you will be endlessly grateful for ever giving birth to an amazing little person.