Gareth wrote: Saturday 4th December
... On reflection, this was a cheat, not a compromise but a cheat - first one in 14 weeks mind. I think it might be some kind of rebellion due to the fact that I am finding it increasingly difficult to walk, which is really pissing me off. Any way, the meal came and from the outset, something didn't feel right; it felt way too creamy. Towards, the end of the meal I decided to double check that was no dairy in this in case I had made a mistake. I saw that right next to the dish I had ordered was the dish I was actually eating - they had brought me the wrong one! Thankfully no dairy but the dish was made with coconut milk. Have you seen how much saturated fat is in coconut milk? I stopped eating the meal there but my saturated fat level will have been far too high for the day, I'm not gonna try and count it.
I'd been having a reasonable day up to that point. During a morning meditation I'd had quite profound revelation that happiness was really the only thing that I am after. MS can take many things from me but it can never take my happiness. This made me glad. It doesn't mean that I am about to abandon the program and eat steak because being able to walk, see and think straight help with whole happiness thing.
But I feel crap today. Is it due to the meal? Is it due to the alcohol? Is it just another day in the happy world of MS? I don't know. I don't know how you know. I am gonna try and have a good day today, it's the last day of my food diary and I need to do penance for last night. Unfortunately, I am going out for another meal for my mother-in-law's birthday tonight but I have negotiated the dishes beforehand so I should be OK.
Gareth - I just read this and wanted to know if you're feeling better. I just went through a period of increased symptoms after feeling almost none for a while. It was clearly stress related and I wanted to ask you a few questions:
How long since your last exacerbation - i.e. are you still recovering from it?
Are you stressed? My biggest symptoms and all exacrbations have come during stress
Are you exercising all the time? I count my exercise and meditation as the main thing that keeps me sane and pain-free
Have you tried the tapes from Jon kabatt-zin for pain relief? they're wonderful.
Are you feeling better?