How MS taught me that self-care isn’t selfish

When I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting MS in 2023, it made me reassess a lot of things, including my relationship with work, stress and self-care. 

I live in Los Angeles, and before my diagnosis, I took pride in working long hours and pushing through. Looking back, I think I was always trying to show up for other people, but not always showing up for myself. 

MS has given me an opportunity to put myself in the front seat more than I used to. That has not always come naturally to me, but I am learning – I would describe myself as a recovering people pleaser! 

Learning to pause

Living with MS has changed the way I think about rest, work and energy. After I was diagnosed, I realised I could throttle back and still be effective. I did not have to keep working so many hours or keep pushing myself to the point where I was exhausted. 

Now, I try to listen to my body more than I did in the past. I notice when I am becoming more tired or when symptoms might be building. Instead of waiting until I am ready to collapse, I try to look ahead and be more thoughtful and intentional. 

For me, filling my cup is not about doing something big or dramatic. It is about small, regular choices that help me feel more grounded and better able to care for myself. 

Sometimes that means resting. Sometimes it means asking for support. Sometimes it means giving myself permission not to do everything.

Self-care is not selfish

Since my diagnosis, I have become better at advocating for myself and putting myself first. 

It takes practice, and it is not going to happen overnight. But I do think MS has helped me understand that self-care is not selfish. 

Self-care can sound simple, but when you are living with MS it can feel complicated. There can be symptoms, fatigue, uncertainty and the pressure to keep going. It is about listening to your body, making changes that feel realistic and finding what works for you. 

Finding tools that help

Overcoming MS has helped me find practical tools and strategies to help me manage stress. Mindfulness has become one of the tools I use to support my wellbeing and manage the emotional side of MS. I try to practise mindfulness every morning, usually for 10 or 20 minutes. I can really notice the difference in how I manage stress on the days when I do it compared with the days when I do not 

When MS feels difficult, I try to remind myself that the feeling will not last forever. It is one moment in time, and it will pass. 

I have also found support through therapy, family, friends and the Overcoming MS community. Through Overcoming MS, I found people who understood what it is like to live with MS. I’ve met people who I feel are going to be my friends for the rest of my life; that sense of connection has made such a difference. 

My advice to anyone living with MS would be to find an MS community, because no one really knows what it is like unless they have experienced it themselves. 

I would also say: learn as much as you can. Learning about MS has given me a sense of agency. It has helped me feel more informed and more able to make choices for my own health. 

Why I’m supporting Time to Fill Your Cup

When you’re diagnosed with MS, life suddenly feels very different. You can feel overwhelmed and unsure where to turn. 

Finding Overcoming MS reminded me that I didn’t have to walk that journey alone. It gave me trusted information, practical tools and, perhaps most importantly, a community of people who truly understood what I was going through. 

The support I’ve found through Overcoming MS has been priceless. While there are many things about MS we can’t control, I discovered a sense of agency through meaningful lifestyle choices I can make to support my health and wellbeing. 

By supporting Time to Fill Your Cup, I hope more people can find that same support earlier in their own journey.  I want everyone who hears the words “You have MS” to know they are not alone, that there are things they can do for their wellbeing, and that there is a community ready to welcome them.