S7E07 Finding your 8th Pillar with comedian Rabiah Coon

Rabiah Coon  00:00

I think the important thing is that the sooner you accept that that’s what you have and forgive whoever you feel like you need to forgive: Yourself, if you think you caused it, you didn’t, by the way, but if you think you did, or forgive your parents or forgive God or whatever you need to do, do that and then tell someone so you’re not in it alone. That’s so important, because it doesn’t go away in isolation.

 

Overcoming MS  00:31

Welcome to Living well with MS. This show comes to you from Overcoming MS, the world’s leading multiple sclerosis, healthy lifestyle charity which helps people live a full and healthy life through the Overcoming MS program. We interview a range of experts and people with multiple sclerosis. Please remember all opinions expressed are their own. Don’t forget to subscribe to Living Well with MS on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. And now let’s meet our guest.

 

Geoff Allix  01:06

Welcome to the latest edition of Living Well with MS podcast. Joining me on this edition is Rabiah Coon, a comedian and OMSer, who is originally from California and now resides in London. So welcome Rabiah.

 

Rabiah Coon  01:21

Hey, thanks for having me on, Geoff. I’m excited to be here

 

Geoff Allix  01:23

So to start off with, as we always do. So could you introduce yourself and your MS journey?

 

Rabiah Coon  01:29

Yeah, sure. I um, so I just let people know. I mean, they can hear the accent. I’m from the United States. I was diagnosed when I was at the University of California, San Diego, which is in a really lovely place down in San Diego, California, and I was a student there in my second year. And basically, the long story short is my right hand went numb one day. The next day, my left hand was numb. I went to Student Health and got referred to neurology. And there’s a medical school at UC San Diego. So I was really lucky in that respect, that I was able to get in in that way, and I did the whole path of the MRI and then the spinal tap and the battery of tests you do you’re in a neurologist office, and was diagnosed with relapsing remitting MS when I was 19, and so I’ve been living with it for about 26 years now.

 

Geoff Allix  02:27

When and how did you discover Overcoming MS?

 

Rabiah Coon  02:31

Well, that was a lot more recently. So 20, probably three years in or something, I was at an event. There was this video that was being shot that the MS Society, UK and Overcoming MS were working, collaborating on, and I was a volunteer with the MS Society who went to that video shoot, and it was for this music video that was done, and it was really beautiful. Actually, people haven’t seen it, but you could, you know, just go and volunteer to be an extra. And that was just a really cool opportunity. And there was an actress from DowntonAbbey on there, which was fun. So just not fun in the sense that, like she’s there because she also has MS, but it was fun to be part of a shoot when people who are in the public eye come out about having MS and living with MS, or maybe family members, just because it’s so helpful in getting more attention to the to the cause. But anyway, Steven, who was the acting CEO of OMS at the time, was there, and we just started talking, and he was really encouraging about just learning more about the program. I applied to be a trustee, actually, because that’s something that’s a goal for me, is to get on some nonprofit boards and really dedicate more of my personal time to nonprofits. But that didn’t work out. But what did work out was getting involved. I met Alex, the current CEO and and she just encouraged me to get involved with the digital team as a volunteer. So I’ve been doing that. And so then I and through all that, I discovered the program too, and I just attended a retreat, and that was a really big step for me, because I kind of volunteer for MS as though it’s something I’m keeping at a distance regarding myself, but it was really I had to confront a lot of things and make a lot of changes in my life and that I’m doing over time. That’s one thing I like about OMS. It’s very clear in what the guidelines are, but then you can also, you know, get into it as you can and as you’re able. And so I think that’s made me more comfortable with the decision to start doing the Overcoming. MS life, yeah,

 

Geoff Allix  04:32

They’re not forcing you to. It’s not like, Oh, you’re not doing perfectly. So just give up.

 

Rabiah Coon  04:37

And it’s logical anyway. I mean, there’s never been a doctor who said, don’t exercise like I mean, they told me not to run, maybe because of my knees or something. You know, most, most of the things, of the pillars, the advice is really beneficial to any person trying to be healthy anyway. And then there’s things that indicate that, you know, better health for someone living with MS, you know. Know? So, yeah, so that’s how I discovered it just actually through, through that, and it was, I’m so grateful that that’s what happened that day.

 

Geoff Allix  05:07

And which pillars did you find easier or harder to adopt?

 

Rabiah Coon  05:12

I mean, the heart. I mean, look, the exercise like just living in London, I live in Camden, so just living, by virtue of living here, it’s kind of easy, in a way, to get exercise in, at least walking, getting formal gym work in, is tougher for me, but I’m working on that. But I can, I can generally do that. And even talking about the program and, like, with my family and stuff like they’re happy to hear. I’m very lucky with MS so far for me, I mean, I’ve had things happen that have been scary and  maybe I don’t like where certain things are, but I think my family also knows that, you know, and so then they’re always happy to hear if I’m doing something to improve my life. So those things are easy, like, but I think the diet is hard for me, just because I’ve always had a struggle with eating anyway. So it’s just kind of, yeah, it’s hard, but, like, it just, there’s another guideline, another reason for me to make choices at the grocery store, the shops that I can have in my head, other than, like, usually I’ve been dieting to try to lose weight or something. But this isn’t really dieting. It’s being on a diet of, for your life, like how you how you eat in your life. It’s not just for that purpose. I think that’s helpful, too, to think about this is actually my overall health that isn’t for this purpose of, like, losing weight, which is always a thing for me.

 

Geoff Allix  06:36

LIke you said it’s, it’s a healthy diet by any standards, for anything, and if you’re eating less processed food, for example. And yeah, so naturally, and I think a lot of people find their weight kind of stabilizes as well just because they’re eating more healthier. Yeah,

 

Rabiah Coon  06:52

It’s not like, they don’t say, oh, eat this many calories or something. And so it’s kind of nice in a way, not to be restricted in that way, and not to have to worry about that, but really just to think about, like, Okay, I have this and this in my hand. What’s the better choice for my MS, and that’s like, a, I think, healthier way of me even looking at things now.

 

Geoff Allix  07:13

Was the mindfulness side of it okay?

 

Rabiah Coon  07:15

Yes and no. So it’s interesting, because I studied transcendental meditation, and so during the pandemic, it was very easy for me to not, I wouldn’t say easy, but it was easier for me to get the 20 minutes twice a day. That’s what their protocol is. And then I won’t say anything else about it, because we’re not allowed to or something. But, but now, you know, ever since probably we got out of lockdowns and stuff, I just didn’t do that. And I think it’s easy for me to take moments like micro, micro mindfulness, I guess I’m actually at the retreat I met Phil, who’s been on the podcast, who’s amazing, just again, I just feel like so lucky to have encountered the people I have since learning about OMS, which has been a while now, while ago, but he does a mindfulness course that’s eight weeks through MS-UK, and so I signed up for that, and I just hearing him talk about it and what it’s done in his life, and then also this mindfulness based stress reduction. That sounds like a good thing for me personally, but also just for managing MS, I know stress really increases it so to answer your question now, because I didn’t really the mindfulness I don’t find difficult in the sense that, like I know a lot of people will say I don’t know how to meditate, or I’m not meditating right, or I can’t get I keep having thoughts while I’m meditating, and they don’t realize that that’s all okay, and there’s no right way, like Deepak Chopra, I remember on this one interview, said, if you’re asking the question, Am I doing this right? You’re not doing it right, because you shouldn’t be judging your practice. And so for me, it’s easier because I understand that it’s okay if I have thoughts come in and out, I just keep getting rid of them. And I’ve spent 20 minutes meditating with the same thoughts coming in and out, I have pure OCD, which means that’s just gonna happen, but it’s okay. And so I think in one way, mindfulness is easy for me, in the sense that I just accept whatever’s happening at the time of practicing it. But on the other hand, it’s hard for me because I’m really bad about allocating time to things. And so I’m starting to also accept that if I take five minutes, it’s better than taking zero minutes. And if I take 20, that’s awesome, but if I can get five in, it’s okay. And so I think there’s that forgiveness of, like, imperfection. That’s really, I think, helpful in any of the pillars for me, yeah.

 

Geoff Allix  09:47

And so you just mentioned the you were on an Overcoming MS retreat recently. So, because there’s a big pause because of the pandemic, on retreats, but I’m just interested, I mean, so I went quite a long time ago, like pre pandemic. But how was it, and what did you take away from the retreat?

 

Rabiah Coon  10:05

So it was great. I was apprehensive. I mean, I emailed a couple people I know at OMS to try to, like, get one of them to give me a reason not to do it. I was just like, hey, so the yoga, I don’t know if I can do it. And then I’m like, No, you can. And if not, it’s okay. Like, how dare you, you know, but when I got there and I was partly apprehensive, I suppose, just because I worry sometimes, like being faced with, MS, so much, because even though I volunteer my time, like, I don’t spend my whole life talking about it like every moment. And I think you know Geoff, like you probably know too, like other things are happening in our lives. It’s just a big part of it, but it’s also, in certain days, it’s more part of it. But it was really great because, first of all, the people involved with Overcoming MS, so there’sJake, who was coordinating it, along with Maria, who started working too, on the events team, but they’re fantastic people, caring, compassionate, don’t have MS, and were it just, but don’t ever like you don’t feel like they don’t understand your experience, in a way. And then all the presenters, everybody, just everybody, from start to finish, who is presenting and being there for us and with us. They were with us really like sometimes they were presenting. So there was, of course, that, but otherwise, they were with us, in conversation with us at meals. It was really incredible. And then meeting other people and finding out how much really we all have in common was great. Because I think sometimes like this disease, and I’m sure other diseases too, can be very isolating, especially if no one else in your family understands or is involved, or, like, I live alone. So that’s you know already that. So it was just, like, really a lot of community. But then also, like learning prior to the retreat in person, we had these online sessions every week, like for seven or eight weeks leading up to it, and that really laid the foundation for a lot of the information about the pillars and then from there, we had the sessions, and We also had different exercises and mindfulness exercises there, and so I think, and then just also work with each other, like talking about our experience and our relationship with MS and various things. And so all of that just kind of was a holistic look at us as people, us as people with MS and then the program and how its impact could be. And so I think, yeah, it was just a really great experience that I would encourage people, if they have the means and interest to do in the future, because I think it was really invaluable. And I’ve had, I’ve been living with MS for like, 26 years, which is, you know, I mean, I don’t know who’s watching, but I don’t, I don’t think I’m like, that old, you know, I can be delusional, but it’s a long time. It’s over half my life now, actually. And so it was really nice to, even at this point, like so far into it, to learn from people who’ve had it for only two years, and learn people who had it from a time I did, or people who have different forms of it. And so, yeah, it was really cool.

 

Geoff Allix  13:28

And so one of the things you do you’re comedian. So firstly, tell us a bit about your comedy, and how did you get into comedy?

 

Rabiah Coon  13:38

So I got in trouble a lot for talking in school and then maybe at work even, and stuff and but friends would say you should do comedy. And, you know, people say that to people, but I really the thing is, I love writing, and I work in IT as a project manager, mostly, but my true, truly, what I would have done if I had had the guts would be to be a writer and probably to have done comedy about 20 years sooner than I did, but I kind of would just tell people, yeah, I’m gonna try it by the time I’m 40. That was just kind of what I would say. But then I’m a person who, like, kind of takes things literally and likes to keep their word and so all of a sudden, I was about two years out from being 40, and I said, oh gosh, I have to do this. And so it took me another little while to ramp up, and I just took a course, basically, and it was in San Diego, and it was a six week course. And really can’t teach you to be funny, but can teach you to move the mic out of the way. And you know what a basic joke setup is and stuff like that. And so I did it, and it went pretty well. And I’ve definitely had gigs that didn’t go well, even as recently as two weeks ago, and gigs that have went brilliantly also two weeks ago. And just over time, I just really enjoyed it, and I just kept enjoying the writing. And you might rewrite the same joke, like 150 times or something. It’s insane to me how that works, but it’s so important just to keep working at making something better and also knowing when to give up on something is not working, and acceptance, I guess, of that. But yeah, so I just kept doing it. And so it’s been five years, and, you know, we had the pandemic, and so I did comedy on Zoom, which some people chose not to do, and I was so new in it, and I think it was such a outlet for me and a way to connect with people. And I’ve made a couple friends from Zoom that are friends in real life now, which was cool, but I just keep doing. I think partly it keeps me, it gives me something outside of work and outside of other volunteering to do. But I also enjoy telling stories and making people laugh and and I don’t have much of a chance to talk about the MS specifically, I talk about my experiences or my opinions or observations, you know, and then sometimes now I do talk about MS. I brought it into my sets, because usually I do like, five or 10 minutes at a club and the especially on a five minute set, it’s hard to educate people on what MS is and then make them see it’s funny. Also, I did it the other day there were doctors that happened to be like, 35 medical type research people in the audience. So I said, hey, so do any any of you guys, you know, I have multiple sclerosis. To any of you guys research that, and they all don’t. And I said, Oh, you losers, you know, it’s a really interesting and unpredictable disease. The set the rest of it will be predictable, but the disease isn’t, and you should really, you know, think about it. And so and, and the audience laughs, because it’s kind of like you’re telling them, I have MS, and they, some people have different experiences with it or don’t know what it is, but then you’re like, and you’re losers for not researching it. So they liked it. Um, but yeah, I just talk about all different stuff. Basically, a lot about me. People will be like, Oh, are you gonna write a joke about me? I’m like, no, I have no interest in talking about you on stage.

 

Geoff Allix  16:59

Yeah, no, I think the best comedy is, is laughing at yourself, isn’t it, if you don’t make a target of someone? And, I mean, that’s the 1970s maybe they did, but yeah, not really, yeah, you’ve, I’ve heard you’ve suggested an eighth pillar to the program. So what would that be?

 

Rabiah Coon  17:17

So, yeah, so I it was cool at the retreat. I mean, I was nervous, but I ended up doing helping with the entertainment on the Saturday evening, and did a comedy set, and then we, I compared some Pictionary, basically, and um, and so I did a 20 minute set, but the way I I had to think about how I wanted to write it, and what I wanted to talk about and with regarding MS, And that was the focus, and also how to keep it pretty clean, you know, which was challenge. But what I when I was thinking about how I wanted to approach it, I was thinking, you know, anyone, any person, but then people living with MS, like I kind of mentioned earlier, we have other aspects of our lives and other things in our lives that are meaningful to us and and that help us center ourselves and and then with, oh, with OMS, you have the seven pillars that help provide you an anchor. But I thought that. I just thought, okay, we have these seven pillars. And I was trying to, first, I was starting to write, try to write jokes about each pillar, and it wasn’t really working well. And then I thought, you know, I just need an 8th, pillar that I can talk about. And then I thought that I did kind of think, like, I bet other people have an eighth pillar that they’re not, you know, because it could be something. And so I just, I kind of hinged my dramatic ending on this eighth pillar. Like, if I had an eighth pillar for Overcoming, MS, it would be laughter, because that’s gotten me through, that gets me through a lot of things. I mean, I, you know, like, I struggle a lot with depression, very, very much so, and I get out of it sometimes through laughter, you know, or even if I’m in a super depressed state, I still show up at my gigs, and then I go back and be depressed again, you know, my house. But I think so for me, it was just, yeah, I just said that that’d be my pillar. Would be laughter,

 

Geoff Allix  19:11

Laughter is the best medicine. Don’t know, I think, because there are actually like laughter workshops. But literally, if you laugh, you makes you happier. There’s a physical response to, yeah.

 

Rabiah Coon  19:23

I had a lady on my podcast who did, like laughter therapy, and I don’t know I thought that was funny, but then I do think it helps. And like and and even that night when I did the thing the set, and then I was a bit silly, I guess during the work. I mean, I did, you know I was the personality was saying silly comments sometimes, but I think laughter is one of the most vulnerable things, actually, and joy. Those are very vulnerable things to feel and to experience, because laughter, you’re like, out loud, expressing your feelings like you don’t do that really in a lot of situations. You don’t do that when you’re angry. Usually, it’s not appropriate. People get so embarrassed when they cry, but laughter is actually kind of a similar thing. And so, yeah, and I do think laughter is medicine. I do think that being able to see the light. And a couple people did say, like, Hey, I didn’t think I could laugh at MS. Like, they were shocked, you know. So, yeah, I mean, and I think I did mention in my set, it was, I just said, you know, jokes don’t have to be funny to everyone, you know. And I said, which I’ve proven during my set, but like, if you think it’s funny, as it’s bringing light to you then great. Unless you’re doing a Netflix special, you don’t have to make everyone laugh, just yourself, you know, or just make yourself feel better, that’s it.

 

Geoff Allix  20:49

And so you mentioned already that you’ve done volunteer work with the MS Society and with Overcoming MS. So can you tell us a bit about your volunteer work and what impact it’s had?

 

Rabiah Coon  21:00

Yeah. I mean, in general, I don’t know, I my mom sometimes goes, Oh, why don’t you give me credit for raising you? And I do, I give her credit she raised me, and I didn’t get it necessarily, from my family, though, this this need to serve. I have this like, I think maybe, maybe because I don’t have kids and don’t have, you know, that kind of obligation and or even just that taking time in my life. I mean, I have family, I have nephews, I love dearly that I don’t have to I’m not their parents, so I don’t have the responsibility all the time. I have time, and I feel like I’m very fortunate in my life, and so I like to serve, and to give at least some of my time and energy and effort to things that are important to me. And of course, MS is, in a way, self serving, I guess, any MS organizations, but I also I volunteer at charity shops near me and other things and in the US have done political volunteering, and I think the impact to me is just being able to almost express gratitude in a way for what I have, like I have, I just feel like everything I’ve been allowed to have, and even my health. You know, I’m grateful for. Andsometimes you volunteer, like, one time I just did cheering people on the sidelines at a walk, and I, I was almost dreading it, like, oh, I don’t want to do this. And then, you know what, when you when I did an MS Walk or MS bike ride when I was back in the States, mostly I knew how much it meant when people cheered you on. It did give you that boost. And I thought, no, that’s serving those people doing that. And, you know, like with the MS Society, I do, I in their research network, and so I get to, like, read these grant proposals and give feedback. But it also gives me hope, because I see how much effort and work people are putting into helping me, or people like me, or people in the future not to have to go through, you know? MS, it’s not all doom and gloom all the time, but it’s really a hard thing, and it affects people so profoundly differently. And then, yeah, so I think it gives me all different things, but I think the most special thing I get is to meet so many other people who are so giving. It’s incredible to me. Like I really, I’m in awe of the people who give their careers to causes, because they’re giving up high salaries, generally speaking, they’re giving up personal time a lot of the time, because they end up working at events and weekends and things, and there, there is an emotional toll, I think, to doing certain work. And so I’m just volunteering and kind of dipping in and out and then, yeah, it just gives me all that. And I and so I always try to encourage people like to find a cause that I do, the cause affecting them, but find something that they care about and just give a little time to it. And I think it just makes your life richer, you know.

 

Geoff Allix  23:56

If people are interested, how can they get involved? If they want to give back?

 

Rabiah Coon  24:02

I mean, in general, like, any so OMS, for example, they have their there’s a page on the website about volunteering. And I think you can just, if anything, just email someone. Like, there’s specific tasks or activities you can do. Like, so I do the team, like, who does digital stuff? And then I also like to did a podcast transcript the other week. But I think in general, I mean, I actually have written a little bit about this, but you find an organization you’re interested in, go to one of their events, get a feel for it, because maybe it’s like, like with MS there’s like, three or four organizations that are major in the UK, so of course, it’d be great if you volunteer. This is OMS podcast, you might want to volunteer with OMS, but you might be more interested in something else in MS. So do that, but go to an event. Get a feel for the organization. Look at their website. See what they need. If there’s nothing that fits what you have to give, write to them. Find the email address. Write to them and say, Hey, I really want to volunteer and do something. You know what? I have, I work nights. I can’t be at these events. Is there something I can do? And they might just be like, hey, yeah, actually, we would like to get this done, and we haven’t been able to. Would you be able to help with that? And I think just being open to things not looking exactly like you thought they would, but still being an opportunity to give is great. And like, if you get an assignment that you feel like, oh, that’s not very important. You know, you might impact someone’s life that day or at that time, and it was so important to them. And so, because sometimes people think they can’t make an impact because they’re not, you know, Oprah, okay, giving away cars or something. But the thing is, like, sometimes just someone saying, I can change your whole day. And if you can just say hi to someone, and that’s all you had to do. That’s a that’s, I mean, wow. How fortunate is that, you know, and how fortunate is for that person who encountered you. So I’d say, just like, look at organizations that have causes that you want. If you’re not sure what you even care about locally, in your borough, or in your neighborhood or whatever, there might be a park, there might be like, some kind of organization, you can read the kids. I don’t know there’s all kinds of stuff you can do, but you just have to, like, look. And I’m I would welcome anyone who needs to chat about to let you know I’m happy to talk to you. I’m pretty good at motivating people.

 

Geoff Allix  26:28

We’ll mention, actually, your details will be in the show notes, because you mentioned you’ve got your own podcasts as well. So yeah, encourage people to have a look. Have a look in the in the show notes, and check out the links. But I want to go on to is there any other ways that MS has affected your life?

 

Rabiah Coon  26:44

Yeah, I’d say so. I mean, I think just on the subject of, like, the volunteering and stuff, it gave me a cause that I didn’t necessarily ask for,  but you know, so I have the cause to to work for her, but also it made me more compassionate to others who have struggled, because, like, for me, MS is pretty invisible, like, if you see me, you wouldn’t necessarily know unless it’s a day where my hands are particularly shaky or something, or if I fall in front of you, or something like that. But I think there’s a level of compassion that you get. It’s hard to go through something and then not to be able to like, Well, for me, it’s hard to go through something like having MS and to continue to live with it, and then to not like, feel some kind of compassion for other people going through illness or or hard times or anything, but then MS also affected me in other ways. I mean, like, you know, I chose not to have kids. So I may have chosen that anyway. I always thought I’d adopt even when I was, like, 14 or 15. I thought I would adopt kids anyway. But when I was diagnosed, it was generally believed, like you would for sure, pass MS on to your kids, like, for sure, and between that and the depression, I just thought, Well, why would I do that? Um, that information isn’t great and isn’t true now, and certainly, like, you know, other I don’t, I sometimes think, because, also I didn’t think I’d lived past 40, and that’s true, and I lived in such a way for a while that I wasn’t someone who was going to do that, and so I have this time. I’m 45 now, and I’m like, Oh, I didn’t plan for this, you know. And so it’s kind of, it made me do things I wouldn’t have done, like jump out of a plane or something with a parachute, of course, and a person there was a person and a parachute. But, you know, it made me take more chances and take more opportunities, not unnecessary risk, like, to my life, but just more opportunities, like, you want to do this trip, yeah, let’s go, you know. And it made me just kind of like, appreciate that I can do these things. But yeah, it affected how I lived my life for a long time, and decisions I made, and now I think, like, sometimes I go, Oh, would I have wanted to have kids otherwise? And I know a lot of people, you know, we’ve talked like, living with MS, have kids and and everyone’s fine, and the kids are fine, and then if the kids get do end up getting diagnosed with MS, they’ll be okay, you know, too. I mean, we all like, you know, we could get anything at any time. But I think it really, I think I lived in fear for a long time, and now I don’t, but that does, that did affect me. And then, like, dating, dating is a thing where it’s just like, Oh my God, because we all baggage, you know, I mean, especially, like, I’m 45 of course, I baggage. You Marc Maron, this comedian, says you’re a special kind of if you are my age and you haven’t been married yet you have no kids. That’s what he says as a man. But I think too, like you know, there’s some choice in that that I made, to have certain relationships that would never end in that. But. Um, you know, just when to tell someone, when to disclose it? Do I we’re going like, I can tell from the moment we meet. This is our only date. Do I have to tell you? Probably not, you know, um, I, yeah, I told a story at the retreat, like this one guy I met, he was bothering me because I wasn’t eating gluten and dairy at the time, which is, you know, part of OMS is no dairy. And I was kind of easing into things. And he kept questioning me why. And finally I was like, All right, I have an illness. I have a disease called Multiple Sclerosis. I wouldn’t normally tell someone on a second date, but you won’t stop asking me about my diet. And it was so frustrating. And then he goes, Oh, that’s really hard for me to hear. And then, and this is like, two years ago, so I’m already in my 43 and then he goes, we met again, which we shouldn’t have, but, you know, I did. I don’t know. You know, I have issues, I guess. And so then he comes with information. He goes, I did some research. He explained MS to me, which was amazing. So it’s already been over 20 years that I’ve had it, and then he told me he didn’t think we should have kids. And I thought, is our third date and we’re discussing having kids, all right? And like, we could talk about your health and why you shouldn’t, maybe. But it was wild. So I just think that’s a that’s a weird one, you know? And I think people go through disclosure questions all the time. Do they disclose to people at work? Do they disclose to their family, friends, whatever? And I think it’s everyone’s personal choice, because I think the minute you come out about anything, you realize how much it’s not anyone’s business.

 

Geoff Allix  31:36

Maybe Ms saved you from a terrible relationship.

 

Rabiah Coon  31:39

There are you I know man, right? Well, I know another person that saved me from too. And you know what? Good luck, good luck to that, that wife. If anyone’s single, no, I’m just kidding.

 

Geoff Allix  31:54

And so let’s go get back to more light hearted things. If someone wants to dabble in comedy, how would you get started? So if you think I you know I like to tell jokes, everyone says I’m funny. How would you go about starting comedy?

 

Rabiah Coon  32:09

I feel about comedy The same way I feel about any safe activity. If you if it’s something you’re thinking about doing, do it. Because if you don’t that want, that desire, probably won’t go away. Like, if you don’t do it, if you want to do comedy, and you wait two years, it’ll just be two years later. So that’s the first thing. The second thing is, if you, like, go to open mics. Don’t go to, like, these big shows, like, you know, I mean, yeah, support live comedy all that. But go to, like, look at my look at my schedule. Go to these nights that are, like, open mic nights, where people are starting out. Go check it out. Go see what it’s about. Because I think observing and you learn by observing people, you learn a lot observing people better than you, but also your peers, and then just start writing jokes. And there’s you can look online for stuff. You can buy a book. This guy, Adam Bloom. This guy, this comedian. Adam Bloom has a book about writing comedy that was really good. You can take a course. I’m a person who takes courses because I just feel like I like to get some kind of certificate, but Angel has a course, and a few other ones in London or outside. Just find one, or you just go up on stage and just tell a story. And if it’s funny, great. You find the funny sometimes. The biggest advice I have about writing any joke is, if you can’t, if you have to ask, why is this funny? And if you can’t answer that, you don’t have a joke. Because if you don’t know why it’s funny, the audience is not going to know. If I say, just try it. You only need five minutes. At a lot of places, if you don’t do five minutes, they’re fine because they don’t, because they’re going to be a long night anyway, you know. And don’t worry about being famous, like, that’s not it, you know, because you just worry about, like yourself and like just wanting to go and then be a nice person to people, be a nice colleague and be a nice friend and just, yeah, grab one of your buddies or your sister or brother whoever, and just go and check out a night and then just start. But yeah, and I’m happy to talk to anyone. I just encourage people to do the thing, because if they don’t, it doesn’t go away. The desire.

 

Geoff Allix  34:21

Brilliant. And so as a last question, which you often have, do you have any advice for someone who’s recently, recently diagnosed with MS or or maybe has had MS for a while, but is new to the OMS program.

 

Rabiah Coon  34:35

Diagnosis is tough and it doesn’t and at the retreat, like we were all telling our diagnosis stories, and none of them are like, this is the best day of my life. But I think that, I think what we know now is, and you know, there’s different form, different forms of MS, I guess, but that, you know, could mean different things for you. But I think the important thing is that the sooner you. Accept that that’s what you have, and forgive whoever you feel like you need to forgive yourself. If you think you caused it, you didn’t, by the way, but if you think you did, or forgive your parents or forgive God or whatever you need to do, do that and then tell someone so you’re not in it alone. That’s so important, because it doesn’t go away in isolation. It just it’s bigger for you, and then, yeah, find what works for you. There’s no cure right now, but what you can do is things in your lifestyle. You can look at OMS and see if there’s like, just do one thing at a time, or join one of the like intro programs you can do, do that, educate yourself about it. There are always scary stories you can find on the internet, if you search for them. I would encourage you not to do that just or be careful about it, because, you know, I will be the first to say it is not always great, but I will also be the first to say you can have many great days, and you don’t have to let MS take that from you. I would just start doing things to just acknowledge that this is part of your body now, but that you can, you can overcome it, or you can continue to live with it, and just Yeah, that’s what I would do, because it took me a long time, you know, and there was less information, less medication, whatever, back then. But I don’t think getting diagnosed now makes it any less scary. Just because there’s more information and more medication, it just makes it at least you have, like, maybe you don’t have to inject yourself every day.

 

Geoff Allix  36:45

Things aren’t moving on at pace, which is, I think, amazing.

 

Rabiah Coon  36:48

It’s incredible. I mean, really is incredible, like, and that that OMS exists and is getting, you know, more well known, and that that people are researching food and and, you know, the just all the research happening. I don’t want to name specific research things, just because it can come off as me advocating for a point of view. But I do think like OMS and like also, like all the, all the different MSorganizations offer different like tools and like cognitive and, you know, physical and mindful and stuff. And I think there’s, like, each person you end up with a fear. You know, of certain fear, like I was afraid for a long time about walking, and then I was afraid about my cognition later instead of the walking. And you can always, like, even if you want to focus on that first, find the thing that would help combat that, so that the fear is like motivating you to make changes in your life that are positive. That helps. Yeah.

 

Geoff Allix  37:41

Then with that again, just encourage everyone check out the show notes and links to your resources, and thank you very much for joining us. Rabiah Coon.

 

Rabiah Coon  37:49

Geoff, thanks so much. It was great talking to you.

 

Overcoming MS  37:53

Thank you for listening to this episode of Living Well with MS. Please check out this episode’s show notes at overcoming ms.org/podcast you’ll find useful links and bonus information there. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode, and please rate and review the show to help others find us. This show is made possible by the Overcoming MS community. Our theme music is by Claire and Nev Dean. Our host is Geoff Allix. Our videos are edited by Lorna Greenwood and I’m the producer, Regina Beach. Have questions or ideas to share, email us at podcast, at overcoming ms.org, we’d love to hear from you the Living Well with MS Podcast is for private, non commercial use and exists to educate and inspire our community of listeners, we do not offer medical advice. For medical advice, please contact your doctor or other licensed healthcare professional. You.